Life has its up and downs.  Well, it always seems fun to play its games, but the recoil from it is sometimes something that will hurt more than anything in life.  Why do I start with this little rant.  Not sure, always thought I am a really cryptic writer and its hard to understand what I really mean at times.  Even to myself, the stuff I write seems to be fogged up.  Why am I the way I am?  Well, I am who I am because of what I have experenced in this world.  Why do I listen to ICP and all the Psychopathic stuff?  Cause it helps me deal with stuff.  It helps me find kinda of a place inside that lets the anger get out for just abit and it never comes back till it is sparked again by something.  Yes today is the FAQ of The Sandman part one.  I just been asking myself all these questions that I have been asked by others.  So lets continue.

What is up with how you act towards the world?  Well, that simple, I see the world as a gaint maze that we must find the end of it ourselves.  The end can be in the arms of another or in the ground.  You make it for yourself.  Why do you think that the world is against you?  Cause that is just a rant from a guy who gets rejected alot by the so-called "normal" people.  What makes people normal is a very simple question that I ask people.  They answer me with the mondane answers.  Some say that it is the clothes that make the person or its the music they listen to.  But then I laugh and tell them that it's not those things that make us normal.  We all are normal because we all want the same things.  We want to be loved and we want friends who are down with us at all times.  Why do you act are crazy and stuff?  Maybe I am crazy, maybe I am not.  But that doesn't matter does it.  What matters is what we do in our lives.  When you wake up in the morning, what is the first thing you do.  I turn on the TV and watch a few shows or listen to some music.  Why are you doing this today?  Maybe I want people to actally look inside me and inside theirselves.

Well, I did alot of writing today just to give you guys alittle insight into me.  I had to let it all out today.  I don't know why, something is just moving to do this.  I think I will be ok after this.  I normally feel better when I write something like this.  Wonder if you guys will understand any of the random rantings going on here.  Thanks for reading.  You will see more from me later tonight.

Let dreams come to all, and keep the nightmares away

The Sandman

I'm sick YAY!  Yep, it sucks.  I have been spending two days basicly in bed.  It sucks.  I couldn't even goto work.  And I get sick right after the concert I went to.  That sucks even more.  Well, I do have a new poem in my head, so I am going to premire it right here instead of writing it on a notepad.  So here it is...

Crimson Tears

First off, Hell's Pit has dropped.  The 6th has finally been completed.  If you have listened to it, good for you.  If you don't like it, don't even bothering showing up at the Gathering.

But lets get off the Juggalo stuff till I give the three songs I have been listening to alot.  But this is something I need to get out.  Even if she doesn't see this for awhile.  I miss her every night.  Can't get her out of my mind.  Morganite or Eden is what she is called by me.  And all this time she has been gone, I have been worried about if she is even alive still.  I hope she is actally ok.  I hope that I can tell her something before it will be too late.  It proably is too late already, but it doesn't matter.  I have a song stuck in my head this week because I think she is somehow contacting me with out me knowing.  Thats how me and her are.  We don't need to talk to know how each other feels.  I bet she already knows what I need to tell her.  And every night, I push myself to sleep, maybe just to dream about her or have the common dreams i have been having.  Hope she is ok.  Eden, you are on my mind 24/7.

Now lets get to the music that effects the life of me.  No Hell's Pit stuff, this is important.  One song is the reason why I promised myself not to commit suicide.  Even though it might not seem like it would help, it does when you are me.  The second song is the song that reminds me of Eden all the time.  She played it almost everytime we hung out.  I just smiled and tried to learn it, even though a woman sings it, I want to perform it in front of her.  And the third song, its the ulimate pump up song.  You just have to agree with me.  Here we go.... (Do not mind how it is done, I am copying and pasting the lyrics from a site.)

"Pass Me By" By Insane Clown Posse

"Does this excite you? Think about it!
Does it not stagger the imagination?
No builder on earth can conceive any structure to compare to the mansions
above.
Won't that be something when you go to live in your own mansion?
There'll be no concern about paying for it;
it's already taken care of.
There'll be no worry about being moved out of it. It will be yours forever."

I got shot, Bahh! The murder was heinous.
The bullet went in my eyeball and out my anus.
And I was hit, that was it, on the spot,
Flash, I woke up in a parking lot.
And I'm sittin in a '64 Rinekeys,
With Shaggy Dope written on the car keys.
I look around I can't believe that it's possible,
I'm dead, and I made it to the carnival.
I walk in, it's everything I dreamed of,
Everybody and they mama got clownlove.
Japanese, Lebenese, and Chinese,
Portuguese, and southwest ghetto G's. (hoo hoo)
Hangin' out with redneck truck drivers,
Instead of always givin' each other piledrivers.
I see my old homey, he died in a drag,
Chillin with two bitches, "What up, Shag?"
And he passed me a blunt like a tree trunk,
I tried to hit it, but couldn't even fuck with it.
And to think, I always been afraid to die,
But I ain't never goin back, to wonder why.
(Chorus:)
We all gonna die. But I'm not gonna fry.
Even though most never try, I'm not gonna let this pass me by, no.
(end chorus)
(chorus)
I was born. First they threw me in a shitpile.
I dealt with it, and lived there for a while.
I got dissed on, pissed on, and beat down,
Mutilated, and tossed out a dead clown.
Next thing ya know, I'm chillin' at the big top,
Free money, and mad bitches non-stop.
No water, it's faygo on tap,
I wash my hair, and my face, and my butt-crack wit' it,
Cuz I can, cuz I'm fat paid,
I got a five story funhouse with a maid,
And she walks 'round wit' her titties hangin' out,
And when I cough, she come and dust my balls off. (hoo hoo)
I'm headed up to the show, I'm gonna see,
Jimi Hendrix, Selena, and Easy-E,
Elvis tried to open up but got dissed off,
We got pissed off bcuz he sounded like butt, There’s No fights it’s a perfect match, hillbillies in a crowd tryin ta cabage patch. And to think ive always been afraid to die but I aint ever goin back. To wonder why.

(chorus)
(chorus)
(intro bit)
Did ya ever burn your finger on somethin', hey,
Well picture this, ya nuts burnin' that way.
And a roman candle stickin' in ya butthole,
That's where the greedy snake mutha fuckas go.
This is all hell now, we livin' in it,
But this bullshit'll be over in a minute,
Then it's off to the faygos and nedin hoes,
New clothes, and patent leather for your toes. (hoo hoo)
And while ya sit around cryin' for ya dead friend,
He's chillin' up there paid gettin' mad ends.
He's probably there tryin' ta figure out why you're sad,
He's on the beach gettin' fat, you got it bad.
And for those who ain't down for the next man,
Who rob from the poor, and snatch all ya can,
And any chicken talkin' shit, lemme tell ya somthin',
Hold a lighter to your balls, and you'll see what's comin'.
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Intro bit)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Break)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Chorus)(w/vocal ad lib)
(Chorus out)

"Strawberry Gashes" by Jackoff Jill

Turn her over
A candle is lit, i see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me

Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over

Watch me fault her
you're living like a disaster
she said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over

called her over
and asked her is she was improving
she said "feels fine" its wonderful wonderful here


Hex me told her
i dreamt of a devil that knew her
pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over

watch me fault her
you're living like a disaster
she said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over

i lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"some things you lose and some things you just give away"

scold me failed her
if only i'd held on tighter to her
pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me

watch me lose her
it's almost like losing myself
give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me

watch me fault her
you're living like a disaster
she said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over ME!

"Lets Go All The Way" by the Insane Clown Posse

aint nobody jealous
everybody has they own
nobody locked up
everybody
everybody is free to roam
look at that scrubby (jus chillin)
wit a hottie on his side
look at them rich kids, poor kids
everybody
together on the same side
and they down to ride

lets go all the way
(lets go all the way)
lets go all the way
lets go high high high
lets go all the way

aint nobody left out
everybody gets to go
it could never be too crowded
come on
we still pickin up some mo'
dont nobody hate you, playa hate you
there aint no hate at all
gotta hold out thier hands and catch you
they'll catch you
and they never will let you fall
you aint gotta worry all Of Y'all

lets go all the way
(lets go all the way)
lets go all the way
lets go high high high
lets go all the way

never no sickness
no sickness
nobody has to die
nobody has to die
everythings answered
right then and there
never have to wonder why
(you never have to wonder why no oh)
wont nobody rush you
no hurry
be as long as you wanna be
can you guess what this place is?
your future
make it a reality
all you have to do is follow me

lets go all the way
(lets go all the way)
lets go all the way
lets go high high high
lets go all the way
lets go all the way
(lets go all the way)
lets go all the way
lets go high high high
lets go all the way

Hope you understand it all.  If you don't, its ok.  I am just a very complex person.

Let dreams come to all, and keep the nightmares aways

The Sandman

It's song day, I am going to post three songs that have meaning right now in my life.  Hope you understand them all.

"Pulse Of The Maggots" by Slipknot

This is the year where hope fails you
The test subjects run the experiment
And the bastards you know is the hero you hate
But cohesion is possible if we try
There's no reason, no lesson, no time like the present
Tell me right now, what have you go to lose?
What have you got to lose, except your soul?
Who's With Me?!

I fight for the unconventional
My right and its unconditional
I can only be as real as I can
The disadvantage is I never knew the plan
This isn't just a way to be a martyr
I can't walk alone any longer
I fight for the ones who can't fight
And if I lose, at least I tried!

We are the new diabolic
We are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life, you can have it
We are the pulse of the maggots

I won't be the inconsequential
I won't be the wasted potential
I can make it as severe as I can
Until you realize you'll never take a stand
It isn't a one-sided version
We've dealt with a manic subversion
I won't let the truth be perverted
And I won't leave another victom deserted

We are the new diabolic
We are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life, you can have it
We are the pulse of the maggots

(Do you understand?) Yes

Say it again, say it again
(We won't die)

We fight 'til no one can fight us
We live and no one can stop us
We pull when we're pushed to far
And the advantage is, the bottom line is
We never had to fight in the first place
We only had to spit back in their face
We won't walk alone any loger
What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger

We are the new diabolic
We are the bitter bucolic
If I have to give my life, you can have it

We are the pulse of the maggots
(Do you understand?) Yes

Say it again, say it again
(We won't die)

"Virgo's Tale" by Zug Izland

Walk but don't run, run but don't fly
Sigh but don't talk, talk but don't cry
Cry but don't feel, feel but don't give in
Give in but don't die, mother fu..
Now we just got one life, let it rain but don't cry
Everything is alright, it's just a way of saying goodbye

Move but don't dance, dance but don't sing
Sing but don't cry, break down and let it bleed
Joke but don't hurt, hurt but don't bleed
Bleed but don't lie, just let it go to sleep

Now we just got one life, let it rain but don't cry
Everything is alright, it's just a way of saying goodbye

Hate but don't love, love but don't hate
Smash but don't break, fear but not shake
Fame but not greed, shame to succeed
Yell but don't scream, till we break it

Do we just have one life? Let it rain but don't cry
Everything is alright, it's just a way of saying goodbye

Now we just got one life, Let it rain but don't cry
Everything is alright, it's just a way of saying goodbye

Now we just got one life, Let it rain but don't cry
Everything is alright, it's just a way of saying goodbye

"Red Hot Moon" by Rancid

Under the red hot moon take the bus downtown to the graveyard shift tonight

KC's from Campbell, California
Shes got a reputation that she didn't ask for
And she's waiting for an escape now
That escape is called the 164

Now KC, she don't want to admit where she is from
And KC, she wants to run run run
She's a punk rocker, she don't trust no on
On a South Bay bus all alone

Under the red hot moon take the bus downtown to the graveyard shift tonight

KC was never caught up like the rest of the rats in a fucking maze
"Check me out," she said, "I'm in a concrete jungle,
I'm an individual and you are stuck in a haze”
Oh hell no, she knows what the truth is, cause she says so
And she knows who her friends are, so fuck you
Don't get no closer, it will only make her run far away

Under the red hot moon take the bus downtown to the graveyard shift tonight

I knew KC's brother pretty well
Lets say we spent a lot of time hanging out
I always thought he said that she'd be the one
To get out of here and make a life for herself
But when we found her in the little league park
In the dugouts it was cold damp and dark
And no one knew why she wouldn't wake up
I think she finally made it back home

Under the red hot moon take the bus downtown to the graveyard shift tonight

One time for your mind, two times for your soul, three four, the graveyards and the money I fold. Dipped out in the city where the sun burns slow, no hope, it's a pity, I can't say no. It's not my time to go, it's not my time to die, the last thing I want is for my mother to cry. It was love at first light that very first night, things have never been the same since I took my first flight. The way I live my life, I love, I live lavish. You lost me from the start, you lose, you'll never have this. Untouched, unleashed, back up, you don't want it. Stick him for his cash, his bad, its how he flaunt it. Take two and pass, I'll take two and blast. Bust a mother fucker, I'm out on the smash. Dipped out, I'm high as fuck, I'm outta control. Let’s bounce, rock, skate man, I'm ready to roll.

Under a red hot moon
Under a red hot moon

Now, if you can uncode the reasoning behind these three songs that discribe my life right now, you win a nice shiny imaginary quarter.

May Dreams come to all and keep nightmares away

The Sandman